Identify and describe which stage from the “Stage Model” identified within chapter two, that your own family is currently involved. What are the benefits and deficits connected to this stage? One of the stages that our family is dealing with is the “Becoming an Adult stage”. According to the text by Herbert Goldenberg and Irene Goldenberg (2008), when a child becomes an adult and leave home they usually stay connected to the family. My daughter will be turning 20 January 18, 2012 and she still lives at home.
She is a student at the local community college and she is also working. Having her at home during her educational endeavors is good and bad. I feel it is good in that we know where she is every night and that we feel she is in the safety of her own home. Also knowing that she is not at some university partying is very satisfying. I also feel by her being at home allows her to focusing on her school work. On the other hand, she is not living independently allowing her to make her own decisions. She needs to live independently in order for her to make it in society.
This in essence brings us to the coping with “Adolescent Stage”. Although she is about to turn 20, she still has the mentality of a teenager. The text states: during this stage the family unit as a whole faces new challenges, particularly with autonomy and new found independence (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008). The challenges we face with her is allowing her to make her own decisions as a young adult but also maintain parental authority in our home. This situation becomes difficult because now that she is older rules have changed.
We have to allow her to grow into adulthood yet maintain the rules and regulations of the house (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008). For example, now that she is older she wants to go out and hang out with her friends later. She wants to be able to come in to the house whenever she feels she wants too. Her father and I say no. She a young girl hanging out in the streets anything could happen. My daughter feels this is not fair. Another example, we feel she should pay us rent, at least 100 dollars a month. She feels this is not fair.
Her fathers asked her were else would she be able to live for free or 100 dollars. These are some of the dilemmas we face as she is in the transitional stages of adolescent and adulthood. Another situation exist in our home is that we have an 8 year old. Having two children with such a large age gap can be difficult within itself. The younger child wants to know at times why her older sister can do certain things and get away with it and she can’t. This causes friction between the two siblings at times. The next stage our family will be entering with our eldest daughter will be the “Leaving Home Stage”.
As she finishes her college education eventually she will be moving out (hopefully). During this period it will be difficult on everyone. Firstly, her little sister will miss having her bg sister around to talk to and spend time with. I will miss her because I depend on her so much to help with her little sister and various other things. Finally her daddy will miss her because she is his daughter and he feels he has to protect her from everything. If she is not around on a regular bases her won’t be able to protect her. Finally, the benefits and deficits connected to these stages.